This is not my ceiling
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
