I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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