ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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