I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
