Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
