YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize