i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
