Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Experience is the best teacher

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  (810): You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish (248): Experience is the best teacher http://tfl.nu/l23g
  Replies (2) Good night (1849) Bad night (796)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them

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  (617): were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them http://tfl.nu/uwjn
  Replies (56) Good night (5081) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

  (713): View more from Texas

  When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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  (979): You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands (713): When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things http://tfl.nu/2j2p
  Replies (28) Good night (5629) Bad night (1066)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?

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  (773): At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer? http://tfl.nu/g4aq
  Replies (34) Good night (1936) Bad night (6129)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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  (912): Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up. http://tfl.nu/ccc0
  Replies (4) Good night (4350) Bad night (899)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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  (717): at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea?? http://tfl.nu/j9re
  Replies (9) Good night (2358) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag

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  (781): Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag http://tfl.nu/xidr
  Replies (4) Good night (2411) Bad night (945)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

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  (647): we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana. http://tfl.nu/zk8n
  Replies (6) Good night (3109) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

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  (859): i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly http://tfl.nu/pft1
  Replies (9) Good night (3241) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come

  (804): View more from Virginia

  and you stopped teaching...why?

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  (724): You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come (804): and you stopped teaching...why? http://tfl.nu/8fjo
  Replies (5) Good night (2200) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.

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  (856): When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'. http://tfl.nu/va9k
  Replies (8) Good night (1609) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  How do you feel?

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.

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  (970): How do you feel? (1-970): Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again. http://tfl.nu/th8n
  Replies (6) Good night (1065) Bad night (1608)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.

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  (914): I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit. http://tfl.nu/fljs
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (560): View more from

  I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.

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  (560): I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do. http://tfl.nu/yx9v
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.

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  (971): Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here. http://tfl.nu/bude
  Replies (2) Good night (903) Bad night (352)

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