Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
