SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS