Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this will be a night to untag.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
