Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
