Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I got chris browned last night

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  (810): I got chris browned last night http://tfl.nu/zhhu
  Replies (10) Good night (631) Bad night (1984) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude it was a lap dance

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  (410): That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club (301): Dude it was a lap dance http://tfl.nu/d6y0
  Replies (15) Good night (1424) Bad night (365)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

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  (563): his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off? http://tfl.nu/hp8b
  Replies (19) Good night (466) Bad night (3887) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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  (559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you http://tfl.nu/hdb5
  Replies (17) Good night (892) Bad night (3919)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.

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  (804): god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away. http://tfl.nu/mycs
  Replies (12) Good night (1013) Bad night (3968) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.

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  (650): on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/s17l
  Replies (11) Good night (5501) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour

  (513): View more from Ohio

  its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem

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  (574): he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour (513): its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem http://tfl.nu/ygfh
  Replies (6) Good night (843) Bad night (3022)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.

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  (561): His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face. http://tfl.nu/pof4
  Replies (7) Good night (2919) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.

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  (210): no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here. http://tfl.nu/1kwe
  Replies (8) Good night (1250) Bad night (3536) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

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  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (7951) Bad night (1056)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We are two peas in an std pod

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  (630): We are two peas in an std pod http://tfl.nu/62ho
  Replies (12) Good night (825) Bad night (5496) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.

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  (315): I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism. http://tfl.nu/5nmw
  Replies (8) Good night (3483) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

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  (787): I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now? http://tfl.nu/uqqo
  Replies (8) Good night (594) Bad night (1330) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.

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  (734): If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date. http://tfl.nu/hoqh
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (398) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt

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