If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
