wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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