i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
