At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
