He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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