new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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