just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think people are normalizing furries
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
