I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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