You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There's even glitter on my cock...
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