My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
