Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
