Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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