best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
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Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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