I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
