nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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