I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
