sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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