you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I touched a dick in church today
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
