Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
