plz talk dirty to me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize