i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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