I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
