She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
