Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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