Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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