come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's always time for handjobs
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
