the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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