So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
