so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
