Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
