We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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