i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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