He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
