All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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