worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You're like the curious george of whores
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
