He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
