But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
