Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
