you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize