I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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