So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
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