I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Shame - the story of my life.
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