Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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