God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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