Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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