i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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