# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Pants are for mortals
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
