Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Who died my cat blue again?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
