I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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