I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
