I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
