she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
