Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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